McBreen's Heifer

McBreen had two daughters, and each one in turn
Was offered in marriage to Jamsey O’Burn.
Now Kitty was pretty but Jane she was plain,
So to make up the differ, McBreen would explain,
He’d give the best heifer he had on the land,
As a sort of a bonus with Jane, understand.
But then Kitty would charrun a bird off a bush,
And that left the lad in a horrid non-plush.

CHORUS:
Now there’s no denyin’ Kitty was remarkably pretty,
Tho’ I can’t say the same for Jane,
But still there’s not the differ of the price of a heifer,
Between the pretty and the plain.

Entirely bothered was Jamsey O’Burn,
He thought that he’d give the schoolmaster a turn.
Sez he to wed Kitty is very good fun,
Still a heifer’s a heifer when all’s said an’ done.
A girl she might lose her good looks anyhow,
And a heifer might grow to an elegant cow.
But still there’s no price for the stock, d’ye mind,
And Jane has a face that the devil designed.

CHORUS:
Now there’s no denyin’ Kitty was remarkably pretty,
Tho’ I can’t say the same for Jane,
But still there’s not the differ of the price of a heifer,
Between the pretty and the plain.

The schoolmaster said, with a good deal of sinse,
We’ll reduce the two girls to shillin’s an pence;
Add the price of the heifer, then Jane, I’ll be bound,
Will come out the top by a couple o’ pound.
But still I’m forgettin’ that down in Glengall,
The stock is just goin’ for nothin’ at all.
So Jim thought he’d wait till the end of the year,
Till girls might be cheaper or stock might be dear.

CHORUS:
But when he came for Kitty, she was married to McVittie,
And McBlane had appropriated Jane,
So whether there’s the differ of the price of a heifer,
Is a thing that he never could explain.


French, Percy. (1980) ‘Prose, Poems & Parodies.’ Dublin, Helicon Limited

Tickets

Early Booking Special Offer

Each whole day €50. Students €10

  • Three / Four Lectures
  • Afternoon Recital
  • Tea / Coffee / Homemade Cakes

Tickets to the talks taking place in the theatre room in Castlecoote House must be booked in advance, seating is strictly limited per event and we expect these to be fully booked well in advance so please book early to avoid disappointment

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Don’t miss out, Festival tickets sell out quickly!

We are very sorry to say that we can’t do refunds as they play havoc with the ticketing system. If you can’t make it, we’d rather you gave your tickets to a friend who can.

The 15th Percy French Festival

French Awakenings

19th, 20th, 21st July 2023

At Castlecoote House

Honorary President of the Festival, the President of Ireland, Michael D Higgins.

Informed Social & Cultural Discussion of Ireland Today.

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The Percy French Festival 2023 acknowledges the major support of Excel Industries, Dublin; Whyte’s; CastleAcre; C&F Quadrant Ltd; Davies Group; Hidden Ireland.

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