Matthew Hannigan's Aunt

Oh, Mat Hanigan had an aunt,
An uncle too, likewise;
But in this chant, ‘tis Hanigan’s aunt
I mean to eulogize.
For when young lovers came
And axed her to be their’s,
Mat Hanigan’s aunt took each gallant
And fired him down the stairs.

CHORUS:
So here’s a health to Hanigan’s aunt!
I’ll tell you the reason why,
She always had things dacent
In the Hanigan family;
A platter and a can for every man,
“What more do the quality want?
“You’ve yer bit and yer sup what’s cockin’ yees up!”
Sez Mathew Hanigan’s aunt.

Oh, she never could raise her voice,
She never was known to scold,
But when Hanigan’s aunt sed, “No, you can’t”
You did what you were told;
And if anyone answered back,
Oh, then his hair she comb,
“For all I want,” sez Hanigan’s aunt,
“Is peace in our happy home.”

CHORUS.
So here’s a health to Hanigan’s aunt!
I’ll tell you the reason why,
She always had things dacent
In the Hanigan family;
A platter and a can for every man,
“What more do the quality want?
“You’ve yer bit and yer sup what’s cockin’ yees up!”
Sez Mathew Hanigan’s aunt.

Oh, when she went to Court,
The A-de-congs in vain
Would fume and rant, for Hanigan’s Aunt
Said, “Boy let go me thrain!”
And when the Lard Liftinant
A kiss on her brow would imprint,
“Oh no, you can’t,” said Hanigan’s Aunt
“Widout me pa’s consint.”

CHORUS:
So here’s a health to Hanigan’s aunt!
I’ll tell you the reason why,
She always had things dacent
In the Hanigan family;
A platter and a can for every man,
“What more do the quality want?
“You’ve yer bit and yer sup what’s cockin’ yees up!”
Sez Mathew Hanigan’s aunt.

Oh, ‘tis often we’d praise her up,
We’d laud her to the sky,
We’d all discant on Hanigan’s Aunt,
And hope she never would die.
But still, I’d like to add-
If Hanigan isn’t about-
That whin we plant Mat Hanigan’s Aunt,
We won’t be too put out.

CHORUS:
So here’s a health to Hanigan’s aunt!
I’ll tell you the reason why,
She always had things dacent
In the Hanigan family;
A platter and a can for every man,
“What more do the quality want?
“You’ve yer bit and yer sup what’s cockin’ yees up!”
Sez Mathew Hanigan’s aunt.

Prose, Poems & Parodies of Percy French, 1980, Helicon Limited, Dublin.